Xmas 2008

Christmas...isn't christmas...till it happens in your heart....
That's a line from one of the christmas songs that I just can't get off my head. Probably because it rings the truth in my present moment.This year Christmas has a special meaning to my heart and life. A lesson of being THANKFUL for what I have is something I have learnt as the year comes to a close.
Suffice to say that recent developments in my personal life has thrown me off my comfort zone per say ( those closest to me would know this).
Broken hearted, shocked, immense amount of anger and cheated is how I feel about it.
Amazingly, God has been my strength and my sanity during this trying time.
Sitting down alone during MASS yesterday in Assumption PJ , my thoughts were carried away to how alone I was during this joyous occasion. There were people surrounding me.Complete strangers. However, the loneliness of the heart and self was rather overwhelming. Fr. Simon's homily struck a chord in my heart when he spoke about allowing for "healing" to happen to a broken heart. Ironically, that message hit home run with me. Tears rolled down my face and I tried very hard to control myself from breaking into an ugly cry.
Walking back alone to my car ,after MASS, I thanked the Lord for my health, the love from my pets, the warmth and care from the people I know for keeping me sane. Yet , I looked around at the families which were hugging each other and wishing each other warm Christmas wishes. I had none around me. " This must be how it feels like being an orphan", I thought to myself. Don't get me wrong. My "creators" are alive and well but they are living in their own delusions.
This year the only gifts I could give people I cared about were either home made or came from the heart. Those faraway received a call or a electronically made cards ( ok...that's not very creative, but its the thought that counts right?) .
Its not a fancy expensive gift but that's all I can afford. Whether they appreciate it or realise the amount of love and effort I put in for each one of them, I would never know.I sincerely hope they do....
Do you know what I would really want for Christmas? Its rather priceless actually. Just a simple "Hello Angie. How are you?" on the phone or an sms (if you are outside of Malaysia), a warm hug , joining me in simple dinners, just calling me out for a cup of coffee or plain nothing, things which you can easily do which would melt my heart. Hey...m just a simple girl with simple wants in life.

Anyways, to those who are reading this....Thanks for being there in my life. Each one of you have transformed my life in one way or another. I am truly grateful for having met such "angels" (ok..some in devil's attire :-P) . I pray that our relationship with each other will continue to the end of our life.

God Bless!

Power handover ?

PM announced today that he is stepping down on March 2009. His successor will be Najib ( if he wins the UMNO presidency). This news is something already speculated and waited upon for sometime now. As far as Najib winning the seat in UMNO, it might not be that easy. His closest and stiffest competition would be KU LI.
Whatever said and done, may the BEST Man win. Now, what does that mean to the regular Joe on the street? Probably nothing much ( since Malaysians live in a TIDAK APA attitude). But on a serious note, what this would bring to the country is a political stabil nation, more money to the country ( since we need to bring business into the country) and an end ( wishful hope) to racial politics.
My biggest fear is Khairy's possible win of the Umno Youth Head position. He may be young but he really lives up to the Malay saying, " kecil-kecil cili api".
Let's see what happens next...so folks, prepare your popcorn and have a seat! The show is about to begin!

Selamat Hari Raya!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all of my Muslim friends and extended family!
What is beautiful in Malaysia is the concept of Open House. Its indeed a customary ritual which binds all together as Malaysians. This is one Malaysian culture that may not be common in other countries. Let this time of festivities, bring us all together as Malaysians ( stop the politics for once!)
Happy Holidays!

Please don't waste your invitation card

Please don't waste your invitation card. Really....
I don't attend weddings ...PERIOD!!!! ( except for very, very,very,very,very special persons in my life).
Today, I received 2 invitations ( one online and another via snail mail). Both of them are from my young guy friends. I had to kindly decline it since thankfully I am not free on those dates.
Imagine how much I would feel attending weddings , sitting there alone, eating alone, meeting up with friends and their own batalion of kids ( Gosh! Either they are having loads of sex or they are one baby making machine! ) and faking my happiness in meeting them (such a politician, I am!). Making small talk ain't my thing.I would end up leaving early, driving my car like KIMI and screaming in the car with disgust with myself. After all that, I would be moody for the next 2 -3 days in the privacy of my room with Frisky staring at her weird Master.
Please save my sanity....DON'T WASTE YOUR INVITATION CARD!

Living up to expectations

People always have a point of view of another. Its most of the time based on physical aspects. From the so called first impressions, they will decide whether they want to know you or not. If they choose to not know you, all of their judgements are based on what they see on your outward appearance.
For those who chooses otherwise, it would be a wonderful journey of getting to know one another and embracing each other's differences.
I have spent most of my life living up to expectations of others. When I was a child, I had to live up to my parent's expectations of hitting the straight As ( Not that I had a choice la). I was forced to work hard as I was made to believe that straight A students would make it big in life! Jokes on me....
What did I miss in the process? Playtime, trips, other normal things in life like picnicking, spending time in the beach, wading in the pool and whatever not. I spent my time reading ( apart from books), watching cartoons and documentaries only, playing video games ( gameboy) and with my pets ( had a range of them- variety of dogs and cats). Always had this connection with animals ...( maybe I was an animal in my past life?)
As a teenager, I was still a nerd but the difference is I was discovering womanhood as well. Hormones everywhere but very much controlled by my strict daddy. That would explain why I was in a girls school. My friends in school were all dressed up and going to parties and such. I was never ever allowed to go for any. I had to learn to be independent and made to study even more in order to get to the university. I wanted to please my friends so much that I went against my folks ( those were the days!)
Then I did very well for SPM and went on to FORM 6 ( thanks to papa who had no money). I had to do it in a boy's school. Imagine my horror of entering a boy's school!!! I couldn't sleep at all. It wasn't that bad after all. I discovered boys and their mentality. I actually ended up having more guys as friends than girls. I found love and also discovered myself to a certain level, which I didn't like. Trying to fit in with a crowd was always a fear in my life as I am very much a communist! ( I dont like talking and always having a temper!)
The expectations of me was to be a doctor. I couldn't stand the sight of blood at all.
When STPM results came the 1st time around ( yes you read right, that would mean I did it twice!), it only gave me an entry for Computer Science in UKM. Folks at home were horrified in my "failure" !
The second time , gave me an entry to USM for engineering. :-)
My time in USM was a real eye opener to a whole new world. For one thing, living on my own and realising all my actions are my own responsibility was a scary event for me. I trust people easily and very guillable. I believed black was black and white was white. I just found it hard to be flexible. Living up to certain expectations in campus was something I just couldn't do.
My expectations of students doing a prof degree was that they should have an open mind and be street smart. Alas! How wrong I was!! Racism in the form of association or where you sit and who you talk to was the name of the game. A few of us couldnt fit in and found each other. We normally sit together as Malaysians. I could easily sit with any race as I believe we are all people. Time to get to know each other.
I had heated verbal statements with narrow minded people over my refusal to conform to their expectations. It didnt matter to me if the person was homosexual as well. Hey, where they like sticking their genitalia aint my business!
After graduation, going into the workplace, you got to live to company's expectation, your boss ( who may be a nut!), your collegues and your customers. If you think about it, you can really lose your soul entertaining everyone's whims and fancies only to realise they are not living up to yours!
What I know for sure is , life is too short and people will always have their opinions.What's important is to live your life to the best you can! Its a motto for me and I keep reminding myself day in and day out.
Its difficult but you have to do it for YOU!

Christians attacked in India

Today a 150 year old cathedral in Madya Pradesh was burned down by 2 Hindu Fanatics. This is the latest in a string of attacks against Christians ( which only make 3% of India's 1.1billion people).
It started from Orrisa and now is spreading all over India. This is a country where everybody are Indians but multireligious. India is definitely a land of extremes when is comes to wealth ( hardcore poor to filthy rich), religions( basic religions to new found spirituality practices), the ultra modern beings to ultra conservative. Yet , with all this extremity, brutality is the name of the game for a country which gave us greats like Gandhi and Mother Theresa.
As Malaysians, aren't we blessed?
Pls read the article below...

Vatican: The Persecution in Orissa, India

By Giorgio Bernardelli
5/19/2008

Chiesa

"Why does no one in the West raise his voice about what is happening in Orissa?"

ROMA (Chiesa) - "In the village, the climate between us and the Hindus had always been good. We invited them to our celebrations, and we participated in theirs. But now we are all afraid." Fr. Santosh Kumar Singh, a young priest of the archdiocese of Chuttack and Bhubaneswar, is talking about his Baminigam.
He is talking about a village like so many others in this area of eastern India. A group of houses in the forest that, all of a sudden, has been turned into the epicenter of the strongest wave of anti-Christian violence in recent years.
It is the story of what happened here in Orissa at Christmas. With the raids by the Hindu fanatics of the RSS, who left behind seven dead and hundreds of homes, churches, schools, and clinics burned in the district of Kandhamal. And in a climate of intimidation that – several months later – is still palpable.
Again at Palm Sunday, for example, in the village of Tyiangia, a crowd incited by the usual characters gathered shouting anti-Christian slogans. Violence was avoided only because the pastor decided to cancel the procession.
Everything began in Baminigam on December 24, Christmas Eve. "Do you want to know how it really happened?" Fr. Santosh asks immediately. Telling the story is important to him, because there are several reconstructions of the events.
And the one that appeared in the Indian newspapers identifies the spark in the aggression against the swami Laxmananda Saraswati, a Hindu holy man linked to the RSS who travels around Orissa to " bring back to their origins" the tribals who have converted to Christianity.
"That's not what happened," rebuts Fr. Santosh. "It all started when, on the morning of December 24, our permission to celebrate Christmas in the town square was revoked. Our stallkeepers arrived and were told that they had to go back home. There must have been some tension as well. But two hundred men armed with clubs suddenly emerged from the forest, and began to destroy and burn everything."
The violence continued for four days. It was fostered by the inexplicable delay in the intervention of the security forces. The Christians were forced to flee into the forest in order to survive, while their homes continued to burn. There remained in the forest for days and nights, in the cold, eating what they were able to find. Until, finally, the local authorities set up tent encampments. And in the district of Kandhamal, a calm returned full of tension and of serious doubts.
"We had realized what was about to happen," recounts Raphael Cheenath, the archbishop of Chuttack-Bhubaneswar, whose territory includes the district of Kandhamal. " On December 22, we had clearly told the authorities that we were afraid of suffering violence at Christmas. They had promised us protection. Instead, they did absolutely nothing."
I met Archbishop Cheenath in Bhubaneswar, the capital of Orissa. The district of Kandhamal is about five or six hours away by car, in the forest. And yet during those days, the violence had arrived all the way to the archbishop's residence, with a Molotov cocktail thrown against the entrance.
And it is no mystery to anyone that the meetings of the RSS in which Christians are identified as the enemy are also held in that city of 800,000 inhabitants. But, more than the clandestine secrets, it is the public decisions that worry the archbishop, and the ambiguous attitude of the local government, headed by prime minister Naveen Patnaik, an ally of the BJP, the Hindu nationalist party.
"In February," the archbishop continues, "right here in Orissa there was an attack on the part of Maoist guerrillas. They attacked a police barracks and killed some of the officers. A state of emergency was declared immediately: the military arrived en masse in a few hours. At Christmas, instead – when it was the Christians who were suffering violence in the district of Kandhamal – It took four days. Why this difference in the reaction? ".
But there is also the problem of assistance for the victims, which is still unresolved. "They do not allow our organizations to bring assistance," Archbishop Cheenath charges. "There are people there who have lost everything: their homes were burned, and they were left with nothing but the clothes on their backs. The government has promised to take care of them, but the help does not come. And the population continues to suffer."
Together with the houses, in the district of Kandhamal, the work of 30 years has been completely destroyed: schools, clinics, centers of assistance. Even the house of the Missionaries of Charity, the male branch of the order of Mother Teresa of Calcutta – which shelters lepers and tuberculosis patients – was attacked. Everything was left to burn for hours, while the Christians were fleeing into the forest. And now school is held under the tents.
"Misereor" – the international solidarity organization of the German Church – has come forward to help with reconstruction. But the government of Orissa is not giving them permission. For 42 days, the archbishop himself was refused permission to visit the stricken communities.
"Officially, " comments Archbishop Cheenath, "they tell us that this is for security reasons. But the truth is that they want to block the presence of Christian organizations. The Hindu extremists accuse us of carrying out conversions through aid operations. But this is a false accusation: everyone saw this in Orissa in 1999, when there was a tremendous cyclone. Two thousand of our volunteers were mobilized. And they helped everyone, without distinction." In order to resolve the situation, the Indian Supreme Court had to intervene on April 8, with a judgment that declared the ban illegitimate.
In looking at this big city, so much like so many others, it is difficult to believe that it is a haven for fanatics. "We know that many Hindus are against the violence, " the archbishop confirms." Privately, they have even expressed solidarity with us. But they are afraid of speaking out. And so this campaign of hatred conducted by the fanatics is producing results. They are depicting us as enemies, and saying openly that they want to destroy us."
"But where do you think that all this hatred against Christians comes from?", I ask him.
"I am convinced," the archbishop replies, "that there is a hidden cause behind the religious extremism, one of a social nature. The real problem is not the conversions, but the work that the Christians in Orissa have done over the past 140 years on behalf of the tribals and the Dalits, the lowest in the caste system. Before, there were like slaves. Now, at least some of them study in our schools, start enterprises in the villages, assert their rights. And those – even in the India of the economic boom – who want to keep intact the ancient caste divisions, are afraid that they will become too strong. The Orissa of today is a laboratory. At stake is the future of millions of Dalits and tribals living all over the country."
Orissa is like the new laboratory for the fundamentalists: so many say this over and over again in the Christian community. Because it is true that this is one of the poorest states in the subcontinent. But also here in Bhubaneswar, something is starting to happen. You leave the archbishop's residence and plunge into the Big Bazar, the brand new American-style shopping center. The airport – like all of the Indian airports – is in expansion. And in the city, office buildings are multiplying.
"It seems incredible, but when we opened twenty years ago, it was still jungle around here," recounts Fr. E. A. Augustine, director of the Xavier Institute of Management, one of the city's most respected institutions. It is an economics faculty with an interesting history: it is the result of an agreement between the government of Orissa and the local Jesuit province.
So even in a state like Orissa, where an anti- conversion law is in effect, there is no difficulty in naming a public entity after Saint Francis Xavier. Because in India, the Xavier School is synonymous with quality everywhere. "Everyone wants to imitate our structures, " continues Fr. Augustine, " they acknowledge their quality. Apart from some fanatics, they respect us. But we do not want to be a center for elites. For example, and we also organize courses in rural management, specifically designed for the development of villages."
And then – also here in Bhubaneswar – there is the other face of the Jesuit presence. It is that of the Human Life Center, with its popular courses in spoken English to help those who have emigrated to the city from rural areas. Or the courses in tailoring, typing, computers, to provide opportunities for those who otherwise would have none. And then there are the seven schools opened right in the slums of Bhubaneswar. Because change must arrive there as well.
The impression is that in the end, the real problem lies here. The violence in Orissa is not simply the inheritance of a past that India is struggling to leave behind it. The clash concerns the present, and above all the future of the country. It concerns a social situation in which those who for centuries have remained at the margins are beginning to come forward. And so those who – on the contrary – want to maintain the status quo are playing the card of the threat to identity.
There is an important electoral appointment in view: in May of 2009, general elections will be held in India. The BJP – the Hindu nationalist party, defeated in 2004 by the alliance of the Congress Party and the left – is aiming at a comeback. And – as the violence against the Muslims in Gujarat demonstrated in 2002 – inciting tension among religious groups is the most effective way to consolidate the ranks.
"It is no accident," maintains Fr. Jimmy Dhabby, director of the Indian Social Institute in New Delhi, "that this violence against Christians erupted a few weeks after the reconfirmation of Narendra Modi, a leading member of the BJP, as head of the state of Gujarat. And that it happened in Orissa, a state where voting for the local government will be held in 2009."
It is a game that – despite the events of Christmas – is moving forward in Bhubaneswar. It's enough to open the local edition of the newspaper "The Indian Express" on any day of the week to find statements like this, from the leader of the RSS K.S Sudar-shan: "There are many threats hanging over the nation: the violence of the Maoists, the Islamic jihad, the conversions of the Christian missionaries. We must be united in order to react. Do not wait for someone else to do it for you."
Even the investigation opened by the government of Orissa to shed light on what happened at Christmas is proceeding according to rather questionable methods. "After months without any news whatsoever," John Dayal, secretary general of the All India Christian Council, charged on his blog, "the judge handling the case arrived without warning in the district of Kandhamal. He questioned the sisters and the priests. They were astounded when they were asked: Have you converted anyone here?" As if the object of the investigation were the activity of the Christians, and not the violence committed by the Hindu fanatics.
Another worrying chapter is that of compensation. "So far no official indications have been provided," Dayal continues, "but we have read in the newspapers that while schools, hostels, and clinics will be able to receive a contribution of 200 thousand rupees (about 5 thousand dollars), the churches and convents will be excluded from anycompensation. If this were true, it would be not only surprising, but also offensive. The main targets of the attacks were precisely the churches and convents. Excluding them makes no sense."
This is the atmosphere now in Orissa. "An explosive situation is lurking beneath the ashes," says Hemanl Naik, of the Orissa Dalit Adivasi Action Net. "For some time the Hindu nationalists have been campaigning to 'reconvert' the tribal Christians. Are these not violations of the anti-conversion laws? Why do they not apply to them?"
After so many people were killed, so many homes and Christian churches burned, one question must be asked. What is the difference with respect to the Islamic violence in other regions, for which – rightly – so much space is reserved in the media? And why does no one in the West raise his voice about what is happening in Orissa? The protest of the Christians in front of parliament in New Delhi at Easter did not appear in our newspapers.
The reply of Archbishop Cheenath is a bitter one: "The India of today is a market sought after by everyone," he explains. "There are strong economic interests, and everyone wants to have good relations with us. In this kind of situation, no one cares about what is happening to the minorities."
It is an unsettling cry of pain that is coming from the Christians of Orissa today.

Theresa Freed!

Theresa Kok is free from ISA detention today at 1pm. This is indeed wonderful news as personally, I feel she was wrongfully detained. The power of prayer really has shown its due effect in comparison to the so called "people power". Vigils were held over the weekend in several areas of worship for the release of ISA detainees.

She was detained in the pretext of causing religious tension ( asking the azan volume to be lowered and questioning on the signboard written in Jawi). What's amazing is, for the past one week, officials from the Mosques concerned have come out and given statements to the police on Theresa's innocence. The now freed Theresa has given out a statement stating that she is going to sue the individuals concerned that caused her to be detained unlawfully. Rightfully so! That's one week of her life that she can't get back.
Theresa , to me, is the epitome of a Malay saying, " BERANI KERANA BENAR"
Now, the police has to investigate Khir Toyo and Utusan on the false news and reports that they have given out. Hopefully justice will prevail in this matter!

KJ contesting for UMNO Youth Head post

God have mercy! KJ announced his decision to contest for the UMNO Youth Head. Below are my thoughts in red about the article below taken from Star.

Khairy announces candidacy for Umno Youth chief post
By SARBAN SINGH
REMBAU: Deputy Umno Youth chief Khairy Jamaluddin on Wednesday officially announced his candidacy for the top post in the movement, adding that “friendship and unity” would be his platform to win delegates’ support. (you got to be kidding ....unity? you?)
The Rembau MP said he would be contesting the post not only as a Malay but as a Malaysian who wished to have the voice of the multi-racial youth heard and acted upon. ( voice of multi-racial youth? The same person who question on per capita income of the Chinaman compared to the Malay man...from last year's UMNO meeting)
He made the announcement at his service centre near here at about 4.20pm before a packed press conference. Also present were several state Umno Youth leaders, several exco members and supporters from several states.
He did not name his running mate, saying that anyone was free to contest for the post of deputy.
Khairy said he took time to announce his candidacy as he wanted to meet the youth grassroot members first.
“I could not have made this decision unilaterally. I wanted to gauge the support I had. After traversing the country and talking to the grassroots, I believe I have enough support to go for the top post,” he said.
To date, three others have announced their bid for the top post in the movement. They are former Selangor Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Khir Toyo, Jerlun MP Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir, who is son of former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, and former exco Datuk Zahid Zainal Abidin.
Asked why he picked Sept 17 to announce his candidacy, Khairy said the date was special to Muslims as it was the day the Quran was revealed. ( How Symbolic! )
Khairy said he also hoped to reach out more to young people, including the non-Malays, and find new ways to explain issues deemed sensitive such as Malay rights and the social contract. (Really? the damage was done , thanks to him, when he was just the Umno youth deputy)
“I not only hope to make Umno Youth more vibrant but want to get all youth wings in the component parties to speak in one voice.
“We need a new way of articulating ourselves. I am not contesting as a leader of a Malay youth movement alone but a youth leader for all Malaysians,” he said, adding that the Barisan youth movement should not be exclusive but “inclusive”.
Khairy said although Umno Youth formed the backbone of the Barisan Nasional youth movement, it would continue to engage the component parties in decision-making.
Asked to rate his chances against the three others who had voiced their intention to go for the top post, Khairy said all three are credible and experienced.
“They are all my seniors and I respect their intention to bid for the top post. They have their strengths and good points.
“But the delegates will decide on this and I hope that my friendship and unity platform will win them over,” he said.
Asked if he had the support from the majority of the state Umno youth chiefs and exco members, Khairy said he had a fair chance of winning.
“All of us have a good chance. I think overall I have 30% support. With four people in the fray, I think 30% is okay,” he said in jest.
Khairy said if elected, he would inherit a united Umno Youth from Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein who led the wing for 10 years.
“Datuk Seri Hishammuddin took over the helm of a decimated Umno Youth in 1998 (when several leaders left following the sacking of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim) and has built a strong foundation.
“I am privileged to have served four years as an exco and another four years as his deputy. I hope to continue the great job he has done,” he said.
Khairy said he also hoped to engage more young people including professionals, members of non-governmental organisations, trade unions and civil servants who have remained apolitical to ensure the voice of the young people is heard.

In the meantime, all these jokers ( opposition and ruling government) are oblivious to the fact that the financial markets has been rattled by the recent developments in the US. The Bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, the bailout of MerrilLynch and AIG will definitely send shockwaves to our shores. I am not a financial expert ( will be when I study it next year) but I gather that our leaders should get their act together and save our nation from a financial crisis! We really cannot afford a 1998-99 situation right now!!!

Kickdefella arrested!

Today another fellow blogger has been arrested.

The difference is he is arrested under the Sedition Act. No further details (as of now ) about the arrest. The police came by (in plain clothes) to the Kelantan MB's office and took him away in a dark tinted Pajero.
What I understand ( from Rocky's Bru) is that he was aware about this arrest and he was waiting for them.

Kickdefella or his real name Syed Azidi Syed Abdul Aziz ,is the Kelantan MB's public relations officer.

Please do check out the news on the latest of this arrest